I don’t know what got me thinking about it, but the last days or so I’ve really been thinking about how much I have changed since becoming a mum. Obviously parenthood is life changing, I didn’t expect it not to be. Now three years in there are days I think I’ve got this parenting thing sorted, mostly I don’t, but that’s life.
I have had time to think about how much I have changed. Changed in ways I wouldn’t have expected.
I care way less about what people think about me. Frankly I don’t have time to worry about it. I have finally realised I don’t need anyone else’s approval though. So long as our little family is happy hen I don’t really care about what other’s think.
I’m also a lot more decisive. As a parent decisions need to be made and often they need t be made quickly. That has born through to the rest of my life. There are still some things I agonise over, but usually if you need a decision made then ask me, I’ll make it.
In many ways I have also stopped worrying about other people so much. This is a hard one to explain, but previously I would have bent over backwards to make sure everyone was happy at the expense of myself. Now though, I am far more likely to say no to things and if that upsets people then so be it. The thing is I can’t always see everyone or do everything, logistically with a toddler in tow it’s just not possible. I have to put him first and that’s it.
I am braver. I do things now I never thought I would have done before. I can start conversations with complete strangers. Go to activities that make me uncomfortable. You have to do these things or you would go cray just being stuck at home all day with no adult conversation. I’m also acutely aware that L see’s everything I do and how I act and I do not want my insecurities rubbing off on him.
I’ve learnt a lot obout tractors. A tractor is a tractor, right? WRONG! There are many types of tractors, different makes and models, different colours, all with different jobs. As L cares deeply about tractors, I also have to care about them. If I get a tractor type wrong I will be told off, I have even been sent to the naughty chair over it. So I have learnt a lot about tractors. There is also a fine line to be drawn between tractor and digger. It’s a minefield I tell you.
The Tale of Mummyhood