Don’t apologise for being a parent
When I started blogging two years ago the aim was to help me find a way, any way, to stay at home. I tried a few different things, took a few courses and found myself working as a Social Media Manager. I was able to leave my admin job and am now officially self employed. I thought I would start sharing some of the things I have learnt along the way.
As soon as people find out I am a mum, a mum who works to stay at home with her son, they all of a sudden seem to think I am incapable of doing a job, this often left me feeling I had to justify myself and do more, I’m sure this is the same for stay at home Dad’s too. What I have come to find though is that apologising for being who I am doesn’t help and here’s why.
- I left my office job because they were not flexible, they weren’t understanding of me needing time off when the boy was sick, they made me feel small, insignificant and miserable for having taken my full maternity leave. So why would I want to take on a client who through their lack of understanding would ultimately land me in the same position. If I find myself feeling forced to justify my life choices and apologising, then I’m not interested.
- Being a parent has made me awesome! If I hadn’t had my child I wouldn’t have found blogging, I wouldn’t have taken my social media courses and I wouldn’t even be considered for jobs. Being a parent has made my multi tasking skills epic, it has made my time management second to none and it has given me a very clear goal. I have to be amazing and I have to succeed for the sake of my son.
- Clients worry that because I am a mother my son will come before them, whist this is indeed true, he will always come first. What they don’t realise is that they will come second, at the sake of me. If I have a deadline to hit and my son has been ill, does that mean the deadline gets missed, of course not. It means everything that can be gets juggled and pushed. It means I won’t sleep, if I have to work until 3 am to hit a deadline, then guess where you’ll find me. Our kids may always come first, but we will always come last.
- Why would a company/client respect you, if you can’t respect yourself. I love being a mum and I am not going to apologise for that. If I am confident in that and in myself, it shines through and other people see it.
- Ultimately being a parent has made me focused, determined, a better version of myself. Taking time out to have a baby and raise my child hasn’t made me any less of a person. Taking time out has given me perspective to find out about myself and what I love. In fact if everyone was lucky enough to take a year away from their jobs, as an adult, then maybe they would realise that career paths they likely started when they were 16 or younger making GCSE selections, that lead to A Level Choices and Degrees or work, weren’t right for them and with the room to breath and think and learn something new might find their passion. Having a kid gave me that break and that time to find my passion.
Hopefully you’ll find this useful, being a parent is awesome, never apologise!