Balancing act

This Plus That Equals…. A Balancing Act

This plus that equals…. a balancing act

Here’s the latest instalment in my series of posts all about what makes our lives here at home tick. This week is all about the balancing act that is my life.

Balancing act
You can’t see my laptop but I’m working whilst he colours on my lap desk

Feeling like a crap mum

If I’m working and he’s watching too much YouTube I feel awful. When I drop him off with my parents so I can get some work done it feels like a cop out. If he’s desperate to play and I’m saying ‘just one more minute’ on repeat, yup, I feel like crap. If I get cross with him because he’s interrupted one too many times and I’m stressed about a looming deadline, that’s the worst. I just can’t do it all in the hours he’s asleep though, I just can’t.

I'm not the only one who is happy with the GTech AirRam
At least he likes to clean

The house looking awful

So if I get all the work done I need to and spend all the time playing with L that I want to, if I even dare to have a social life and leave the house to see a friend or if I take some time for myself. If I do any of these things, the housework simply doesn’t happen.

I know there are more important things to life than a clean and tidy house but equally I do not want to live in a hovel! It doesn’t help that the number one cause of arguments in our house is housework, or lack thereof. So for an easy life (hah, I do realise how ridiculous that sounds) it’s just easier if I find a way to do it. So I may have persuaded the child it’s a fun game!

Travelling with Rescue
I love my Rescue!

Stress and anxiety

When I get behind on work I have taken on for my blog I feel  the stress really badly. My blog is a hobby, it just happens to be a hobby that allows me to take L on amazing day trips, give him toys I couldn’t afford on my part time wage and even throws a family holiday our way every now and then. If I say I’ll get something done for a specific date then I will.

I then have a part time job to fit in and if they need me to work I feel bad about saying no, so I fit that in even when I don’t have time.

Not to mention how i feel if I haven’t done anything nice with L, or if the housework isn’t done. In fact I often feel that unless I have done literally everything I am failing.

So what gives? Something has to. That something is invariably me. I was aiming to read 52 books this year. It started well early on but has since gone by the wayside, I haven’t had time to read in months. I would love a hot bath, a steaming hot, feet up and lounging until I’m a shrivelled prune of a person bath. I wouldn’t mind a nap if I’m honest.

Balancing act
I’m sorry I’m busy and always working

You’re being awkward

So you’ve probably got the impression that I’m busy. Juggling being a mum, wife, cleaner, blogger, part time worker and the rest of life.

When it comes to arranging things with other people it can be hard to find a time we can all do. I literally had to tell a friend last month that the 21st July was the earliest I could make. At the time that was 6 weeks away!

Unfortunately some people don’t get that. I was actually told the other day I was being awkward. Yes I was being awkward.

I was being awkward because I was the only one of the group who worked at the weekend, I’m actually contracted to work on a Saturday afternoon. Awkward because I have a child, who cannot be left on his own, so no I couldn’t go out at 4pm when my husband doesn’t get home until 6pm. It was seemingly my fault that the place they all wanted to go to wasn’t open on a Sunday, the only day that could have actually worked for us all.

Happy Wine Mail
When your friends arrange a wine delivery you know they are keepers

Real friends and wine (preferably both)

When it constantly feels like you are fighting a losing battle and that you are always letting someone down. I have found the only things that really help are my bestest friends and wine, or gin.

On any given day I will feel like I’ve been a crappy mum to L, I will be stressed that I have more to do than there are hours in the day, my Husband will be cross with me about something or my family will be making me feel guilty about being awkward.

So when I have friends who are happy to come over to mine and drink gin with me after L has fallen asleep, or hop in a car and trek across the country with me to hang out at an event I’m attending, knowing that at any given moment I’ll be working and they might be left to fend for themselves as I try to secure an opportunity. It is these moments, too few and far between, that I know overall I’m doing OK. It is these moments that make the rest of the rubbish slide away.

I love my friends.

Anyone else feel like they are constantly battling to find the right balance?

Finally, I’m linking up with #TwinklyTuesday, #Blogstravaganza, #StayClassyMama and #fortheloveofBLOG

Mummascribbles

Bringing up Georgia

15 thoughts on “This Plus That Equals…. A Balancing Act”

  1. I always struggle to find a balance too and I can really relate to the ‘just one minute’ and loosing my patience when I am mid thought or mid email and they keep on interrupting so that I completely lose track of what I was writing. i suppose it’s hard to find the balance and harder to do it all. In fact I’m pretty sure it is pretty impossible to do it all and have it all. It’s important to take some time for yourself now and then though so make sure you find some time soon. Even of its just a trip to the loo on your own. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

  2. They are the right sort of friends to have, those that support you, but also recognise that it’s not always possible to leave the house at a certain time. Also I can’t believe you have tried to read 52 this year, that’s one a week. It’s a tough challenge, and not one that I could do with everything that is happening. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you’re doing loads. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
    The Pramshed recently posted…Review and Giveaway: Num Num Teething JewelleryMy Profile

  3. This sounds go familiar, especially about not being able to fit all of my work in when the girls are asleep. I love what I do, I want to make a success of myself and I also want to be the best mother I can be! Gah, maybe we could add a few more hours to the day! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx
    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…#Blogstravaganza #28My Profile

  4. Constantly! It’s really hard and lately I just feel I need to go with the flow as I can’t possibly control everything. Which is hard for me, but looks like nature is taking care of it and I’m letting more and more to go. #stayclassymama

    1. I’m going to have to start going with the flow a bit more I think. After running round all this week like a headless chicken I feel asleep earlier, just fell asleep. I sat down to work, then 30 minutes later I woke up!

  5. I totally relate to this post. I am exactly the same and i definitely struggle to find a balance that works for all of us!

  6. It can be so tough to find a balance sometimes can’t it!? I completely get where you’re coming from. However I came to realise I can’t please everyone and I need to stop comparing myself to others who seem to have it all together! #twinklytuesday

    1. A lot of the time I’m really good at just going with the flow, but recently it seems to have gotten on top of me. I think a lot of that is down to my family expecting me to be able to go to every little thing they arrange with them having no consideration to how very little time we have to spend just the three of us. Yep. It’s definitely getting to me.

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