This plus that equals…. why quick parenting isn’t lazy parenting
Here’s the latest instalment in my series of posts all about what makes our lives here at home tick. This week is a little rant from me. A rant about why taking parenting shortcuts is not lazy parenting.
Now there are several press outlets who would have us believe feeding our kids fish fingers for tea is a sign of our sheer and utter laziness of parents and we must all be ashamed of ourselves. Pah. Here’s why they are wrong.
We know our kids
Know one knows L like I do. Mainly because no one else spends remotely as much time with him as I do.
So if we are going somewhere with friends where he will be over excited and not as likely to listen as usual then I will pick different battles to the ones I would if it were just the two of us. I’ll choose things that are truly important, you know, the ones where he could actually hurt himself. Worry less about the ones that are just irritating.
So if you see me ignoring him being a bit bratty. I’m not being lazy. I’m just saving my angry voice to make it more effective when he decides he’s going to balance on a wall next to a river.
We are not idiots
You know what, as a parent I’m no fool. I don’t get it all right or know everything but I do know the basics.
I know that ice cream for breakfast isn’t a good thing. Completely aware that spending all day watching TV is going to give him a headache. I know that wearing a coat when it’s raining is preferable.
So if any of these things are or are not happening, it’s not because I’m stupid. I definitely don’t need anyone pointing out the temperature or such like. If it’s happening there is a reason and I am not an idiot.
It doesn’t actually happen everyday
You know when someone posts on Instagram that there kid is having cereal for dinner. That is indicative of daily life. It’ll be a one off.
So if L has been unwell, or just had a bad day and for whatever reason didn’t touch breakfast and picked at his lunch, then I will feed him anything for dinner. If I know Weetabix will go down then that is what he’ll be fed. As I would rather he ate something than nothing.
Strangely enough it doesn’t mean that for the other 6 days in that week he won’t be given balanced meals.
We all deserve a break, parents and kids
I can’t tell you how much I believe in this. We cannot go full throttle all the time.
Those good wholesome activities, the crafts, the nature, the learning. They take time and energy. Both to arrange and to partake in. Sometimes people feel ill, sometimes people are tired, sometimes it all just gets too much.
So before you judge a situation, remember you haven’t seen the hours, days. weeks leading up to it. iPad in a restaurant, not ideal, sure. Screaming kid, way worse.
You don’t know what kind of day that family have had. So if they just want a break and don’t want to have to battle through a meal and hand out the tech, what difference does that actually make to anyone?
We are not parenting perfectly but we are perfect parents
Good grief we are all going to make mistakes. Some days are going to be really bad. But at the end of the day we love our kids more than life itself and our kids really love us too, even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.
That’s pretty perfect in my book.
So I’m not here to tell people not to judge. That’s never going to stop. Not ever. Sad as it may be. I just saying if you feel judged sometimes then just remember, there are really good reasons we do what we do. A spot of quick and easy parenting doesn’t mean we are lazy, it means we are human. So let’s just try not to judge ourselves a bit.
Finally, I’m linking up with #TwinklyTuesday, #Blogstravaganza, #StayClassyMama and #fortheloveofBLOG
15 thoughts on “This Plus That Equals…. Why Quick Parenting Isn’t Lazy Parenting”
There is always a reason we do what we do and usually, it is to avoid some form of meltdown! Great post! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
It is always to avoid a meltdown isn’t it!!
Totally with you on the all parents needs a break thing. I recently wrote about that too – it’s so important for everyone! Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog
Oh my word we really do. I had a splitting headache all day so I set him up with YouTube on my phone for ages so I could have a nap. Do I feel bad? No! I needed that break and it then allowed us to all go out as a family this afternoon and have a blast. Headache is well and truly back though so it will be off to bed for me in a minute.
I love this. Parents are always at the receiving end, being criticised for putting their heart and sole into bringing up their children. My two had a sausage roll for lunch today, strike me down! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx
The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…#Blogstravaganza #32
I really like this angle – people will judge, but don’t let that make us judge ourselves! I think this is really important and I love how you’ve explained the likely back-story to some of the most common things that mummy-shamers disapprove of. There’s always a reason parents do what we do and the likelihood is that it’s the optimum choice for the moment. Judge away… we’re not listening anymore! Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza
I think people either need to mind their own business or trust that as parents we’ve got the situation under control and are doing the best thing. Even if it looks bad it’s probably way better than the alternative
Absolutely right, we do what we do . Sometimes you have to take the wins too. I think you’re right that people always judge, I think more people should make an effort to put those judgements aside and offer help first though! #stayclassymama
Kayleigh recently posted…Bournemouth by Bus & TGI Fridays Food
Wouldn’t that be so nice if they did? Imagine what life would be like!
This is so true. We know our children and what will or won’t work at certain times. It is defintiely about picking the right battles lol .
100% some battles are not worth it and sometimes we just need a break
We all need to take shortcuts sometimes, as that’s okay. You’re right – you never no what has led up to a parent taking a certain action with their kids, so you should never judge. #fortheloveofBLOG
The Squirmy Popple recently posted…My blogging income and stats report
Definitely! We all just need to cut ourselves some more slack
I love this phrase “We are not parenting perfectly but we are perfect parents” Sotrue!
Thank you! I just think that in my little boy’s eyes he doesn’t care about all the cut corners or mistakes